Understanding the Language of Abuse

Understanding the language of abuse is not always straightforward. It may not begin with obvious harm or clear warning signs; more often, it appears in subtle words, shifting behaviours and patterns that can be difficult to name. For many survivors, the hardest part is not only recognising what is happening but finding the language to describe it. Without that language, harmful experiences can be minimised, misunderstood – or even dismissed entirely.  This page brings together a collection of terms that describe different types of abusive behaviour, from coercive control and gaslighting to love bombing and financial abuse. By improving our understanding of the language of abuse, we can better recognise harmful patterns, identify signs of abuse, and access support earlier. By naming these patterns, we aim to make them visible. Words can be powerful tools – not only for understanding but for validation. When people recognise their experiences reflected in these terms, it can be the first step toward clarity, support and safety.  Whether you are exploring these concepts for yourself, supporting someone else or seeking to deepen your awareness of domestic abuse – in all its forms – this glossary is designed to help you identify behaviours that may otherwise be hard to articulate. No one deserves to feel confused, diminished, or unsafe – and recognising the signs is an important step towards changing that. 

Types of Abuse

Domestic Abuse Domestic abuse is any pattern of controlling, coercive, threatening, violent or abusive behaviour between people who are personally connected. It can include physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, economic and technology-facilitated abuse. It can affect anyone, regardless of their gender identity, sex, age, race, disability, sexual orientation, or background. Emotional and Psychological Abuse A form of abuse that uses words, actions or behaviours to undermine a person’s confidence, self-esteem and emotional wellbeing. It may include intimidation, humiliation, threats, manipulation or persistent criticism. Economic Abuse A form of abuse that involves controlling, restricting or exploiting a person’s access to money, finances or other economic resources. It can limit independence and make it more difficult for someone to leave an abusive situation. Technology-Facilitated Abuse The use of technology, devices or online platforms to monitor, harass, intimidate or control another person. This may include tracking someone’s location, monitoring online activity, accessing accounts without permission, or sending unwanted messages.

Honour-Based Abuse

A form of abuse carried out to protect, defend, or restore the perceived honour of a family, community, belief system, or other social group. Honour-based abuse can involve physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, economic, or coercive and controlling behaviour. It may be directed at individuals whose actions are perceived to have brought shame or dishonour and can be carried out by one person or multiple individuals acting together. In 2026, the UK Government introduced a legal definition of honour-based abuse to strengthen recognition and protection for victims.

Control and Manipulation 

Coercive Control  A pattern of controlling, isolating and manipulative behaviours used to limit a person’s independence, confidence and freedom over time. Coercive control often develops gradually and may include monitoring movements, restricting contact with others, controlling finances, or undermining confidence and decision-making.  Gaslighting  A form of psychological abuse where a person manipulates someone into questioning their memory, perceptions, feelings or understanding of reality. Over time, gaslighting can leave someone feeling confused, isolated and unsure of their own judgement.  Hoovering  A manipulative behaviour used to pull someone back into a relationship after they have tried to leave. It may involve repeated contact, promises of change, grand apologies, emotional pressure or attempts to ignore established boundaries.  Love Bombing  A manipulation tactic where excessive affection, attention, compliments or promises are used to overwhelm someone and quickly establish emotional attachment. In some cases, this behaviour may form part of a wider pattern of control within a relationship. 

Emotional and Psychological Impact 

Trauma Bond  An emotional attachment that can develop between a victim and an abusive person through repeated cycles of harm, reassurance and reconciliation. Trauma bonds can make it difficult for someone to leave or disengage from an abusive relationship.  Stonewalling  A communication pattern where someone emotionally withdraws and stops engaging during conversations or conflict. While it can sometimes be a response to emotional overwhelm, repeated stonewalling may cause feelings of rejection, confusion and emotional disconnection. 

Abuse After Leaving 

Post-Separation Abuse  A form of domestic abuse that continues after a relationship has ended. It can include harassment, intimidation, unwanted contact, financial abuse, misuse of legal processes, or other behaviours intended to maintain power and control over a former partner. 

Legal Protection and Support

Non-Molestation Order A court order designed to protect someone from abuse, threats, harassment, intimidation or unwanted contact. Breaching a Non-Molestation Order is a criminal offence. Occupation Order A court order that determines who can live in, enter or return to a property. It can be used to help protect victims of domestic abuse by restricting an abuser’s access to the home. Domestic Abuse Protection Order (DAPO) A civil protection order introduced under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021. DAPOs are designed to provide flexible and longer-term protection for victims of domestic abuse and can include a range of conditions tailored to individual circumstances. Legal Aid Government funding that may help cover the cost of legal advice, representation and court proceedings. Many victims of domestic abuse may be eligible for Legal Aid, depending on their circumstances and evidence requirements.

Restraining Order

A court order designed to protect someone from harassment, threats, violence, or other harmful behaviour. Restraining Orders are made by criminal courts and may be issued following criminal proceedings where protection is considered necessary. Breaching a Restraining Order is a criminal offence.

Get Help 

Naming abuse is a powerful act. When we have the words to describe what we are experiencing, we begin to reclaim clarity, confidence and control. If any of the terms or behaviours in this glossary feel familiar, it’s important to remember that you are not alone and that support is available.  Whether you are seeking advice for yourself or someone else, reaching out can be a vital first step. You deserve to feel safe, heard, and supported, and there are people ready to stand with you. Please Contact Us or find out more about how you can Get Help.  This glossary is intended to grow, reflect lived experiences and evolve alongside our understanding of abuse. If there are words, phrases or behaviours you believe should be included, we warmly invite you to contribute. By sharing knowledge, we can help others recognise what they may be facing and help them take steps toward safety and support.